2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
