Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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