what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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