Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
