Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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