Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
