Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
