Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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