is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
