If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
