I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
