This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She said her name was "party"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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