you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
