I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
