I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
