he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
