don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
