Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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