he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
