I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
