hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
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