Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
