he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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