I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
