11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
