im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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