dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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