I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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