watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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