Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
