I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is it because I queefed?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
