I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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