the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
