Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
