My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
