In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
