My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
