the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
