Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
