Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
