Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
