I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Don't EVER smell your tampon
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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