party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
