Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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