Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
