Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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