chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
