I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
