the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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