my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
