Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
jump out the window naked night went bad
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
