are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
